or: Dan Bern, Lyrical Genius
by Peter Clarke
Dan Bern hasn’t gotten much mainstream recognition for his lyrics, but there’s no doubt he’s a lyrical genius. Bern is one of those musicians where, if you know his songs, you very likely find yourself quoting from them. I haven’t listened to Dan Bern regularly for almost a decade, yet I still find his lyrics popping into my head at least once a week. Some of his lines I’ve eternalized to the point where they’ve colored my view of the world.
If a songwriter has written lines you can’t help but reference as you go about your day, that, to me, is the ultimate mark of a great songwriter. It might even be the ultimate goal of songs: to give us reference points for viewing the world more deeply, or at least differently.
When you see a harvest moon, you hear Neil Young. When someone says, “Money doesn’t grow on trees,” you think of Kendrick Lamar’s money trees. When you see a girl wearing a jacket that’s too long for her short skirt, you hear Cake. If you ever happen to be sitting in a park in Paris, France, you hear Joni Mitchell.
Dan Bern has more than his fair share of these: phrases he now owns—at least from the perspective of people who know his songs. These phrases span the gamut from absurd to insightful. Even out of context, they’re enjoyable:
“Marilyn Monroe should have married Henry Miller.”
This line plays in my head every time I see a picture of Marilyn. As Bern explains in “Marilyn”: “This is not a knock against Arthur Miller / Death of a Salesman is my favorite play / But Marilyn Monroe should’ve married Henry Miller / And if she did she might be alive.”
“She believed collage was the greatest of all the arts.”
This line, from the rambling, irreverent ballad “Estelle,” has played in my mind so often—hitting me nearly every time I see a collage—that I’ve basically been “talked into” believe the sentiment: that collage is the greatest of all the arts. I recently wrote an essay arguing for this view.
“At the bottom of the ocean, you might find a pearl / Don’t let your heart get broken by this world.”
These lines, from “Albuquerque Lullaby,” are useful one to quote when someone is having a bad day. The lines are so perfectly melodramatic but also so true that it’s hard not to smile after saying them out loud (or thinking them to yourself).
“I’m always looking for the perfect jacket or a million dollars / Is it only me who goes through life this way?”
This, from “Feel Like a Man,” speaks for itself.
“Everyone was lonely”
…is a line he sings on “Wasteland” after dozens of lines accurately describing life in Los Angeles. After you listen to “Wasteland,” you can’t help but to hear this song in your mind as you drive into LA.
“Give me my goddamn Jack Kramer wood fucking racket.”
This is from “Jack Kramer Wood Racket,” a song—like “Marilyn”—that was clearly written as a gag but ended up being a crowd favorite. This line might only truly connect with Boomer tennis players, but it’s also applicable anytime you’re using some new, fancy gadget when all you really want is the dumbed-down original.
These lyrics are just a few examples. There are plenty more. No doubt every Dan Bern fan has their own particular lines or phrases they find meaningful. But I’m sure we can all agree that Marilyn Monroe should have married Henry Miller. Not that it really matters, but if you’re unconvinced, here’s Dan Bern in a Marilyn wig making his case:
Peter Clarke is the editor-in-chief of Jokes Review. He’s the author of the comic novels Politicians Are Superheroes and The Singularity Survival Guide. Follow him on Twitter @HeyPeterClarke.