Nice place you got here! 1
MY NAME’S NOT RICK! 2
NO! THIS IS PATRICK!!!!! I am not a Krusty Krab! 3
Marty?! Janet?! Who are you people?! 4
I know, let's get naked! 1
Yeah, brother! We're chaining ourselves to a gate. 5
You mean like a weenie? OKAY! 6
I'm always here on Double Weenie Wednesday. 7
Your pants are falling down 8
AND THEN COMES A GIANT FIST! 9
And who's the big yellow cube with holes? 10
Don't touch me, I'm sterile! 11
Oh, man, it's time for my weekly condiment soak. Do you mind? 12
Knowledge can never replace friendship. I prefer to be an idiot! 13

What's the matter, is he stupid? 14
First, puff out your chest. Now say "tax exemption." Now, you must acquire a taste for free-form jazz. 15
sniffle That Penny has the most beautiful voice. 16
Now all I need is a magic moustache, and all my dreams will have come true! 17
AHHHH! IT'S THE APOCALYPSE! OFFICE PRODUCTS ARE FALLING FROM THE SKY! 18
GYAH! THEY'RE HAVING A SALE ON SCENTED PINECONES! 18
We're not cavemen! We have technology! 14
Yeah! And Fake Science Monthly! 19
Well, maybe it is stupid, but it's also dumb! 19
Oh! East? I thought you said "weast"! 20
Liar liar, plants for hire. 21

I Love You 1
I don't tell you how to live your life! 22
I don’t know, I don’t have a license anymore 23
You can't fire me! I'm not an executive at all! I'm just a guy who happens to like sandwiches! So, go ahead! Send me away forever as a corporate spy if you want to! But not before I've had my say! 24
Can we say that plants from Texas are dumb? Can we say that shoes from Texas are dumb? 25
I don’t know, he was ever heard from him again 26

LIFE! DEATH! LIFE! DEATH! LIFE! DEATH! LIFE! DEATH! LIFE! DEATH! 27
We stole a balloon! weeps 21
It’s the police! 23
OW! AH! OOH! OW! OOH, AAH YAH AAH! Connect the dots. I drawed a horsey. 28
Wow, you guys are good! I'm the last person I would have suspected, but I was looking for me all the time! It's the perfect crime! 29
Big deal. Wait ‘til you see "No Patrick Day.” 30
Close Glove World?! Has the world gone mad?! 5
Like presents on Christmas Day, it doesn't seem to stay. Or a cheese soufflé, it doesn't last all day. 31
Yeah, well I'd hate you even if I didn't hate you 27
This is a hotel? 22
Hey doc! Well, I got the suds too 11
We gotta make sure you’re well, or she’ll take you to the doctor 11
Yeah, that's the problem with this brand. 32
I didn't know hide-and-seek had so much mathematics. 33

Once there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.34

1.     "Chocolate with Nuts," Spongebob Squarepants, season 3, episode 52, written by Paul Tibbitt, Kazimieras Gediminus Prapuolenis, Kent Osbornem, and Merriwether Williams, Nickelodeon, 1st June 2002.

2.     "The Fry Cook Games," Spongebob Squarepants, season 2, episode 39, written by Jay Lender, Dan Povenmire, and Merriwether Williams, Nickelodeon, 28th September 2001.

3.     "Big Pink Loser," Spongebob Squarepants, season 2, episode 23, written by Jay Lender, William Reiss, and Merriwether Williams, Nickelodeon, 3rd February 2001.

4.     "I'm with Stupid,"Spongebob Squarepants, season 2, episode 37, written by Aaron Springer, Carl Harvey Greenblatt, Mark O'Hare, Nickelodeon, 19th October 2001.

5.     "Glove World R.I.P," Spongebob Squarepants, season 8, episode 172, written by Aaron Springer and Dani Michaeli, Nickelodeon, 3rd April 2012.

6.     "Squilliam Returns,"Spongebob Squarepants, season 3, episode 48, written by Jay Lender, Sam Henderson, Merriwether Williams, Nickelodeon, 15th March 2002.

7.     "No Weenies Allowed,"Spongebob Squarepants, season 3, episode 48, written by Jay Lender, Sam Henderson, Merriwether Williams, Nickelodeon, 15th March 2002.

8.     "The Battle of Bikini Bottom," Spongebob Squarepants, season 5, episode 97, written by Luke Brookshier, Nate Cash, and Eric Shaw, Nickelodeon, 23rd November 2007.

9.     "Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy IV,"Spongebob Squarepants, season 3, episode 45, written by Jay Lender, Sam Henderson, Merriwether Williams, Nickelodeon, 21st January 2002.

10.  "Help Wanted,"Spongebob Squarepants, season 1, episode 1, written by Stephen Hillenburg, Derek Drymon, Tim Hill, Nickelodeon, 1st May 1999.

11.  "Suds,"Spongebob Squarepants, season 1, episode 15, written by Paul Tibbitt, Ennio Torresan, Jr., Doug Lawrence, Nickelodeon, 17th January 2000.

12.  "Wigstruck,"Spongebob Squarepants, season 4, episode 74, written by Luke Brookshier, Tom King, Dani Michaeli, Nickelodeon, 17th November 2006.

13.  "Patrick SmartPants,"Spongebob Squarepants, season 4, episode 68, written by Casey Alexander, Chris Mitchell, Tim Hill, Nickelodeon, 21st October 2005.

14.  "Rock-a-Bye Bivalve,"Spongebob Squarepants, season 3, episode 49, written by Jay Lender, Sam Henderson, Mark O'Hare, Nickelodeon, 29th March 2002.

15.  "Grandma’s Kisses," Spongebob Squarepants, season 2, episode 26, written by Walt Dohrn, Paul Tibbitt, Merriwether Williams, Nickelodeon, 28th April 2001.

16.  "I had an Accident," Spongebob Squarepants, season 4, episode 32, written by Carl Harvey Greenblatt, Kazimieras Gediminus Prapuolenis, Merriwether Williams, Nickelodeon, 4th October 2003.

17.  "Frankendoodle," Spongebob Squarepants, season 2, episode 34, written by Walt Dohrn, Paul Tibbitt, Merriwether Williams, Nickelodeon, 21th January 2002.

18.  "Have You Seen this Snail?," Spongebob Squarepants, season 4, episode 64, written by Aaron Springer, Paul Tibbitt, Nickelodeon, 11th November 2005.

19.  "The Camping Episode,"Spongebob Squarepants, season 3, episode 57, written by Jay Lender, Sam Henderson, Merriwether Williams, Nickelodeon, 3rd April 2003.

20.  "Arrgh!,"Spongebob Squarepants, season 1, episode 17, written by Sherm Cohen, Vincent Waller, Merriwether Williams, Nickelodeon, 15th March 2000.

21.  "Life of Crime," Spongebob Squarepants, season 2, episode 27, written by Jay Lender, William Reiss, and Doug Lawrence, Nickelodeon, 5th May 2001.

22.  "Krusty Towers,"Spongebob Squarepants, season 4, episode 69, written by Luke Brookshier, Tom King, Steven Banks, Nickelodeon, 1st April 2006.

23.  "Driven to Tears,"Spongebob Squarepants, season 4, episode 77, written by Luke Brookshier, Tom King, Steven Banks, Nickelodeon, 19th February 2007.

24.  "The Executive Treatment,"Spongebob Squarepants, season 9, episode 191, written by Jack Pendarvis, Nickelodeon, 7th September 2015.

25.  "Texas," Spongebob Squarepants, season 1, episode 18, written by Sherm Cohen, Vincent Waller, and David Fain, Nickelodeon, 22nd March 2000.

26.  "Spongebob’s Last Stand,"Spongebob Squarepants, season 7, episode 134, written by Aaron Springer, Steven Banks, Derek Iversen, Nickelodeon, 22nd April 2010.

27.  "New Student Starfish,"Spongebob Squarepants, season 3, episode 53, written by Paul Tibbitt, Kent Osborne, Mark O'Hare, Nickelodeon, 20th September 2002.

28.  "A Flea in Her Dome,"Spongebob Squarepants, season 5, episode 90, written by Casey Alexander, Zeus Cervas, Steven Banks, Nickelodeon, 1st August 2007.

29.  "The Smoking Peanuts,"Spongebob Squarepants, season 2, episode 32, written by Paul Tibbitt, Walt Dohrn, Doug Lawrence, Nickelodeon, 12th May 2001.

30.  "Gone,"Spongebob Squarepants, season 6, episode 104, written by Luke Brookshier, Nate Cash, Steven Banks, Nickelodeon, 5th March 2008.

31.  "Atlantis Squarepantis," Spongebob Squarepants, season 5, episode 92, written by Casey Alexander, Zeus Cervas, Steven Banks, and Dani Michaeli, Nickelodeon, 12th November 2007.

32.  "Roller Cowards," Spongebob Squarepants, season 5, episode 86, written by Luke Brookshier, Tom King, Steven Banks, Nickelodeon, 27th July 2007.

33.  "Hide and then What Happens?,"Spongebob Squarepants, season 7, episode 147, written by Aaron Springer, Dani Michaeli, Nickelodeon, 9th August 2010.

34.  "Something Smells," Spongebob Squarepants, season 2, episode 22, written by Aaron Springer, Carl Harvey Greenblatt, Merriwether Williams, Nickelodeon, 20th October 2000.