The following is a selection from the book Meth Pirate Town, newly published by Jokes Review.

           The first full batch of Meth Lab Lube was almost ready for shipment. It just needed to be tested to ensure product quality. Otherwise it was good to go.

            In her official capacity as Product Quality Tester, Peggy paid a visit to the Lesbian Mansion Manufacturing Facilities. Debby greeted her with a girlish squeal. “Oh darling, you’re just in time. Come in, come in. We’ve been expecting you!”

            The lesbians had been wonderfully cooperative and enthusiastic with the whole meth lube enterprise. Peggy showed her appreciation by doing what she did best, which was to bare her tits upon request or otherwise. As Debby led the way through the mansion, Peggy’s nipples took turns popping out. Anxious lesbians everywhere glimpsed the sight and then immediately filled their cunts with lube and went at it. They couldn’t restrain themselves. Nobody could. Peggy’s tits were that nice. And the lube was unbelievable.  

            Debby led Peggy up a series of creaking staircases all the way up to the attic. It was a spacious area, confounded by wooden beams, shadows, and hipster paraphernalia.

            “And here’s all the lube,” said Debby proudly. “Two thousand gallons of it. That should be enough to complete all the orders we’ve had so far.”

            “Gosh, that’s a fucking shit ton of lube, huh?” said Peggy. “I can’t wait to try some!”

            Half-naked lesbians, standing expectantly by, giggled and stared helplessly at Peggy’s bursting chest.

            “There’s a bed behind those curtains,” Debby offered. “You should make yourself comfortable. Here, let me help with that shirt.”

            “No,” Peggy said briskly. “Not just like that. If I’m going to get naked, there should be some video cameras.”

            The lesbians were prepared for this. Three video cameras were immediately positioned to capture all the action. Peggy was satisfied. “Okay,” she said. “At the yap of C-word Avenger, roll cameras. Ready?” She looked to her impromptu camera crew and, satisfied, said the magic word: “Cunt!”

            “YARP!” went C-word Avenger.

            With Debby’s kind assistance, Peggy undressed. Once completely naked, she eased herself onto the lumpy attic bed. A flock of naked lesbians tumbled after her, each wielding a handful or two of Meth Lab Lube. Some gooey fingers went after Peggy’s vagina, others for her ass, her tits, or her tongue, still others went after various other vaginas, asses, tits, or tongues that were sprawled out in the vicinity, free for getting lubed up.

            C-word Avenger even jumped in for some fun, yapping happily for every naked cunt.

            Abruptly, Peggy stopped the orgy to announce that the lube was a success. “Nice work, ladies,” she said. “And, with a few good minutes of lesbian footage, it was a most productive visit to the Mansion. Um, so could somebody pass me my undies there? Thanks, sweetie. I’ve got to rush.”

            “Oh, but, Peggy darling, why don’t you stay a while and enjoy some more lube with us?” Debby pleaded.

            “No can do, honey. I got to go check up on my other manufacturing factory—where all the meth comes from. We’re installing whole shit tons of new equipment and stuff this week. Upping production like shit tons galore.”