Quarantine has led to one great thing for me: watching the Dick Cavett Show.

We all go down those YouTube rabbit holes that lead to more and more videos until we reach the early hours of the morning, and then say “shit.” But now we can let that hour pass with a few chicken nuggets and a glass of red wine with no regrets.

So, I had a glass of cheap Merlot and a few frozen chicken nuggets and got caught down a hole on YouTube. The great thing was the hole! Dick Cavett!

And no, I didn’t see the episode where the guest died on it. I don’t think the video exists online. Someone has to have an old beta-max copy somewhere.

But I did start with a segment where Jane Fonda was next to the Archbishop of Canterbury in 1970. And the segment from ’86 with Howard Stern. But then the December 18, 1970 segments with Lester Maddox and Jim Brown came up. Oh, boy.

“You ought to start being honest, all of ya, with your words and what you’re saying to people,” came out of proud, racist, Maddox’s mouth about two-thirds in. Fuck the nuggets, pause, sip the wine, let’s roll.

Suddenly, 1970 on the Dick Cavett Show is looking like 2020 on [FILL IN THE BLANK] News.

“To call bigots my admirers is a farce, it’s a, it’s a act of hypocrisy it’s a – it’s a – terrible way to treat a guest on your show and you know it, huh?”  … Why don’t you apologize to the people for calling people that admire [unintelligible] as bigots.” Hello, year 2020, 1970? Time has no meaning.

Then Dick has the even tone of a British oarsman during the battle of Trafalgar. He steers those waters like no one else could. And where’s that now? I can’t find them. Maybe they’re silent.

Maybe that’s for the best. We need some harsh truth these days, but we also need to beware of those like we can see Maddox in 1970 twisting the narrative. I’m just glad they had Truman Capote to saddle up after the governor left. 

Actually, it looks like Governor Segregate came back a few years later – and Capote was there, too. What is this, TikTok?

Falling down a hole online is nothing new, but certainly not now when we are all huddled at home only for days to go by before searching for a roll of paper towels for hours to no avail. But finding a good classic like Cavett (Oh, as a gay man, I suggest falling down a hole … of YouTube videos of people like Capote, RuPaul’s Drag Race, Trixie Mattel, and anything that has “bro” in the title) gets you through lonely nights and really freshens the mind and brings some historical structure to the mess outside the Lysol ridden door.

Dick Cavett was, and is, such a great interviewer. I think people my age and younger don’t even know of him. Google or Bing that now. I Millennial Dog Dare you. You’ll get sucked down that California sink hole, too. But instead of crippling rebuild costs despite insurance that cut you short, you’ll get something out of it.

With all the turmoil and uncertainty today – especially the uncertainty – seeing classic entertainment journalism is a wild refresher. Interviews without Cavett, like Twitter without B.S., are nothing but empty space.

Think about this: a bullet only aims and hits its target after the explosion if it travels down a defined, curving barrel. That’s like life, that’s like change. History is that barrel, and it’s always there just sitting in the shadows online or in a library. It helps you put things in place and direct your energy.

Everything is nuts now, but the mixed nuts doesn’t have to be all peanuts. Or salt. You can read the label first and drive towards yum with direction.

Oh God, I want some mixed nuts right now.

I bet that made you smile a bit. So, lift your chin poppet and take it in. But do so with the aim of knowing the past. Or, just start watching those Dick Cavett YouTube episodes! There are a lot of differences from 1970 to 2020, but some of the same threads we can latch onto. That’s the line history casts us to keep us afloat and pulling forward.

So, finish “Tiger King” and “Boardwalk Empire” and stop fretting over your home haircut disaster. Grab some Dick. Or, grab some Plato. Grab a hunk of MLK (don’t you tell me he wasn’t a hunk). And dismiss the crap you’re fed about anarchists with guns taking over, or Trump being…Trump. Just chill out with some wine and chicken nuggets and watch “The Simpsons.”

And remember, as Marge Simpson said, “Hang in there Kitty.”

Michael McKinley is a US Navy veteran and humorist from the State of Hawai'i. Currently out of Los Angeles, he enjoys Tiki drinks and his dog - Laila.